…whether ’tis best…

and poor Yorick didn’t know either. This decrepit old fart is feeling a bit vulnerable. I’ve been wondering about how people get themselves mentally prepared for big things that are potentially scary and dangerous and need resilience and determination. Once, in ignorance and enthusiasm, I’d have set off (and occasionally did) and dealt with stuff as it happened – the bulletproof syndrome, can’t happen to me. Now, ageing and a lot more experienced, I know it’s potentially a trainwreck waiting to happen and I catastrophise down to the last nanodot on the tiniest T so I’m as aware as I think I can be of the risks and bear traps inherent in the venture and, while it is exciting in its way to be part of a big gig, there’s always that corrosive doubt down there in the bowel – what have I missed? What if…have we got enough stuff…what would we do if…why are we doing this anyway? Isn’t it better to sit at home and watch televised pap and set not sail upon a sea?…Do we have enough Medicinal Compound for the duration?…I think we’re as ready as we can be, with a now very short list of things still to do and getting past the waiting is the hard bit. And, always, trying to out think the Examiner.

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